Graduation Sunday: The Journey Trumps the Destination

May 16, 2004

By Pastor Marcia Moret Sietstra

John 14:23-29

Jerome Berryman, a theologian in residence in a Quaker church in Portland, Oregon, tells the story of a university student he remembers, who entered the worship service on a Sunday morning. He had long hair and was poorly dressed in tattered pants. [And back in that day, tattered pants weren’t the fashion norm; tattered pants used to be a sign of poor grooming.] Anyway, the church was full, and when the student saw no seat, he sat down in the aisle. Now in some churches an usher might have asked him to get up and move. But in this church, an elderly man with white hair and a three-piece suit slowly made his way down the aisle and with great difficulty got down on the floor with the young man. It so impressed the student that it was the beginning of a relationship with that church that changed his life. Dr. Berryman proposes that every time adults see an adolescent in church, they should walk up and, with no strings attached, say, "I’m glad to see you."

In a very real sense, that’s what this congregation has done for these graduates. As the mother of a graduate, I want to say thank you to all of you at Crestwood who have given these young people the message: "I’m glad to see you," over the years. You’ve supported many of them since they were little children. I’ve watched you take the initiative in welcoming them, teaching them, buying all kinds of stuff for their fundraisers, and by your actions you’ve shown them that they are well-loved here. And so I say "Thank you" on behalf of the graduates and their parents today. You kids have no idea how hard it is on ALL of us to see you go off to college, because we feel somewhat responsible for your well-being, having cared about you for all these years! So do us a favor, and remember, once a child of Crestwood, always a child of Crestwood! You have been claimed by God in your baptism, but you have been claimed by the hearts of this congregation as a child of this church, and no matter where you go or how old you get, there will be people here praying for you and hoping to see or hear from you.

Today I want to talk to you about the future, and what I think you might encounter as young adults. You are poised on the edge of adulthood. Your world is very different than the one we parents faced at your age. For one thing, you have far more choices than we did. When I graduated from high school, I had a choice of 3 stores when I went shopping in my hometown, unless I was lucky enough to get to Sioux Falls, where the choice was between K-Mart, Lewis Drug and the Western Mall on a Friday night. ! You kids can shop around the world on the internet. In my hometown, there was 1 theater with 1 screen, and videos hadn’t been invented yet. You can spend hours choosing from dozens of movies or go to the video store and choose from thousands of videos. Our music choices were limited to about 12 radio stations we could pick up. You can go to a file sharing program and download 2000 songs into your personal computer. When I was a child, vacation was a choice between the Black hills and Lake Okoboji. Remember our youth group trip to Chicago when I kept counting you because I was worried we’d lose one of you on the subway? Several of you have already been to Europe. You have a far wider range of experiences and choices than most of us had at your age.

While having choices is generally positive, having so many unrestricted options on a daily basis actually tends to make life more difficult, according to psychologists, and forces us to spend much more time making decisions in an increasingly complex world

You will be global citizens in a world that is far more interconnected and delicately related than it used to be. News from around the world reaches us almost instantaneously and the range of issues facing us as citizens is much more complex as a result. As I think about the infinitely "larger" world you will navigate as adults, I wonder how you will keep your life in balance. How will you resist the barrage of advertising and the treadmill of working harder and harder to accumulate more and more stuff? How will you turn off the never-ending flow of news and communication by cell phone and email that devours our time, until there is little time left to think about the important questions in life…such as Who am I? Why am I here? Am I a good person? What do I want from life, and what do I have to offer the world?

Today I want to give you a gift—the gift of one guiding piece of wisdom that may help orient you in a world full of choices. It is ancient advice. Here it is: Choose to do what is good for the world. You were made for goodness, and if you want to be what God intends, then choose to do what is good. It sounds so simple, but it’s not. It doesn’t mean, e.g., do what feels good, it means do what is intrinsically good, and for an action to be intrinsically good, it must be good for others as well as you. In general, it should not result in harm for others, but should produce the greatest good for the greatest number of people. Jesus said it this way: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Now if we had the time it would be fun to discuss situations in which one must weigh the amount of good an action might produce against the amount of harm it might cause. Like I said, the dictum Choose to do what is good isn’t simple, but it is a pretty good moral compass.

Did you know that this moral compass is found, in some form, in every major, enduring religion in the world? The Dalai Lama said: My religion is kindness. The Islamic scripture says: No one of you is a believer until they desire for their brother or sister that which they desire for themselves. Thomas Paine, the great secular ethicist who I’m sure you all remember from history class, said, "My country is the world and my religion is to do good."

Jesus put it another way when he said, Love your neighbor as yourself. This is the moral compass this church has passed on to you. If your life gets all messed up, and it will from time to time, come back to asking the question "Am I doing some good? Am I treating others as I want to be treated? What’s the most loving thing to do in this situation?"

Let’s say for example that you find yourself working so hard to pay for a bigger house, a newer car or a dream vacation, until one day you realize that you have no time to enjoy your family, no time for service to help people, no quiet time to contemplate your relationship with God. Have you lost what is good for your loved ones, for the needy, and for yourself?

Then focus again on what our tradition tells us is good—to do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly with our God-- that focus will help you prioritize because it always places the needs of people above titles or achievements. It also frees you because it says, "You are enough if you are practicing kindness and justice." That focus will help you avoid becoming a stressed-out consumer , because it will remind you that you are called by God to do something better—to build relationships and help others. And the funny thing is, if you focus on those things, you’ll be a happier person. You’ll start to enjoy the journey of life instead of just focusing on future goals.

God blesses the journeys of people who seek to do good, maybe in part because humility drives that journey instead of greed. Don’t wait to do good until you reach other less noble goals, because there will always be some goal in your way. Start now, because the journey is what’s important; the journey trumps the destination.

This is the peace Jesus meant when he talked about life lived in the Spirit. Remember he told his disciples he was leaving them a special kind of peace, not like the world thinks of peace, which is military might or financial security and self-interest. Oh no. Jesus’ idea of peace was shalom, which is communal peace—it’s a world of justice and respect and compassion and harmony for all God’s people. And the way we get that peace is by submitting our personal agendas to the shaping of a global agenda. It happens when we are willing to say that what is healthy and hopeful for me must be helpful and hopeful for the next person too, whether they are like me or not.

In college you might learn about a man named Karl Marx who said that religion is the opium of the masses. He thought it kept people quiet in their suffering because they were submissively waiting for heaven. Marx didn’t understand the social gospel of Jesus. Because when religion makes us kinder people who care for others as much as ourselves, then religion becomes the healing balm for the masses.

I want to end with a verse that I wrote in each of your blessing books. It is adapted from an old Irish prayer:

Take time to work; it is the price of success.

Take time to meditate; it is the source of power.

Take time to play; it is the secret of perpetual youth.

Take time to read; it is the way to knowledge.

Take time to be friendly; it is the road to happiness.

Take time to laugh; it is the music of the soul.

And take time to love and be loved;

For in so doing, you reflect the very heart of God.

God bless you. Amen.