A Lenten Reflection

Rev. Marcia Moret Sietstra

Feb. 10, 2008            Spirit of Peace UCC

 

Ps. 32:1-7; Romans 5:17-18; Matt. 4:1-11

 

This past Wednesday night, we held an Ash Wednesday worship service, marking the beginning of a 40-day period known as Lent.  Each person was invited to come forward, much as we do for communion, to have a smudge of ashes marked on their forehead.  As I moved aside the wisps of hair and with my thumb drew the sign of the cross on the each forehead, I repeated those age-old words, “Remember that you are dust, and to dust you shall return.”  

 

Some folks don’t like the ashes of Ash Wednesday, or the words, “remember you are dust.”  Some folks have been so beaten up by the church with a message of guilt that these words seem to say to them that they are worthless, as worthless as dust.  That is not the meaning the ashes carry for me.  Let me read a poem that expresses well what the ashes mean, I think; it is entitled The Echo of Ashes, by Joyce Rupp [i]

 

“Remember you are dust

and to dust you shall return.”

 

The large brown bowl

Rests on a purple cloth

Its roundness holding ashes

Freshly burned

Black and ready for wearing.

 

Blackened thumbs

Press the ancient sign

Upon the waiting foreheads.

 

I hear the message repeated

Until it haunts and hunts me down:

Remember, remember, remember

You are dust, dust, only dust

Someday only dust will remain.

 

The echo of the Lent-stained ashes

Speaks the truth of my humanity:

The humbleness of my beginning,

The simplicity of my departure.

 

A few wise words

Echoing through Ash Wednesday

Urge me to deeper things:

Renewed dedication,

Constant compassion,

And mindful awareness.

 

I leave marveling

At how simple and sublime

Is this envelope of the soul,

Which one day returns

To dust, dust, only dust.

 

For me, the ashes symbolize the recognition of our frailty, the offering of our true humility, and the hope that God, like a parent, loves us in spite of our failures.  The meaning of the ashes depends, of course, on how you see God—as a loving parent biased in your favor, who wants to help you in your weakness…or as a strict judge who pronounces you guilty and doles out punishment.  Both images of God are in the Bible, but I find the image that Jesus chooses most often to be the most compelling.  And the image Jesus constantly chooses is that of God as a loving parent.

 

Thus, the mark of ashes is for me not self-condemnation, but comfort, in the idea that I am God’s creation, I will one day return to dust, to become part of God’s earth.  It helps me put things in perspective…as only one bit of dust, I don’t need to save the whole world.  I am only one bit of dust, and God surely understands my weaknesses. 

 

Altogether, Ash Wednesday is a humbling experience, which is a good starting point for this season of introspection that we call Lent.  It is the season of each church year when we are encouraged to face our mortality, and think again about what is important in life.  It is a time to face our shadow side, the parts of ourselves that we don’t want to recognize, and maybe the parts of ourselves that scare us if we are honest. It is not easy to look inward and examine our lives; indeed, for most of us it’s easier to just buckle down, work harder and not think too much about those deeper questions, like, “Am I living the life I am meant to live?”

 

Hard as it may be to believe, Jesus had the same struggle.  Unfortunately, the church over the centuries, has so over-emphasized his “divinity” that they have stripped him of his humanity.  But by all accounts he was fully human, and he had fears, doubts and struggles, just as we do.  Matthew, Mark and Luke—all three—tell the story of Jesus being tempted in the wilderness for 40 days.  By “wilderness” the storyteller most likely did not mean a wild place of untamed landscape; wilderness is a symbol in the story.  It is what we call an archetype.  Carl Jung, the famous psychotherapist, defined archetypes as symbols that are present in the minds of human beings across the centuries.  Archetypes, he explained, are symbols which are derived from the collective experience of all humanity and are now present in the individual unconscious.  Wilderness is an archetype.  It nearly always represents the same sort of thing in the minds of human beings—a place of struggle, physical or mental.  In many religions, not just Christianity, in literature across cultures—fairy tales, for example—wilderness symbolizes intense difficulty and struggle, sometimes even chaos, in the mind or in one’s life.  It often symbolizes the hardship of making tough choices.  A good example is the ancient story of the Israelites spending 40 years “wandering in a wilderness.”  Geographically it was not wilderness, it meant a time of great hardship, during which they had to learn to trust God, while making difficult choices. 

 

Jesus’ wilderness was a time of figuring out what he wanted from life.  Was it economic security, safety, power or pride?  For these were the things he found tempting in the symbolism of this story.   Perhaps Jesus was on some kind of vision quest at the beginning of his ministry, something like we see in Native American spirituality.  Or maybe this story points to an indefinite period of time in Jesus’ life when he was having trouble figuring out how God wanted him to live his life—he came out of this period ready to start a ministry as itinerant preacher, healer and some might say, social activist. The number 40 is also a symbol, meaning a significant length of time of confusion or temptation. 

 

Little wonder that the early church chose 40 days to be the season of Lent, that season of time set apart to be our own wilderness experience.  The thing I want to point out is this:  every life is intended to have some wilderness time in it.  The hope, of course, is that if one faces the wilderness, the questions, the doubts, the pain, the tough decisions, and the struggle of being human, one comes out of such a time of reflection, ready to experience newness of meaning, a new start, an Easter resurrection of sorts.

 

So let’s say you’ve decided to spend some time examining your life during Lent.  How to go about it?  Some people add a discipline during Lent—a time set aside to do religious study, or fasting.  Many of us would be better off subtracting an activity to clear some space to simply think and meditate.  You might take time to walk the labyrinth on Sunday afternoons at 4, or maybe you will be more inspired by spending time in nature.  Maybe your Lenten experience will involve seeing a counselor who can help you see your life more clearly.  A good counselor has the gift of asking you questions that help you uncover parts of your life that are sometimes hidden from plain view but are affecting you.  It’s tough to solve problems or change your life when you haven’t uncovered the forces that drive you.

 

I remember something written by Steve Garnaas Holmes, a young Methodist minister whose writings I enjoy.  He compared the 40 days of lent with stripping the wallpaper off his kitchen.  It began by his wife announcing that she wanted to repaint the kitchen walls.  Like the prophet, she cried, “Repaint, repaint!” You know, “Repent, repent!”   Anyway, he said stripping off the old wallpaper was hard, messy work but very revealing.  Because when you strip away old wallpaper, especially in a house that has some age to it, you “discover all the holes and blemishes and ugly stuff that the wallpaper was covering up.”  And you realize you’re going to have to fix those up before you repaint the wall.

 

Which is a lot like repentance.  You look beneath the surface and discover what’s hidden.  You expose the rough places, the sloppy joints, the gouges, the holes and scars beneath your exterior.  And you fix them up.  It’s the hard, messy part.  But we all have to do it. Even Jesus had to go out into his wilderness to discover his rough places, to confront his hidden demons, and to face his temptations. 

 

It can seem pretty daunting.  It’s not real inviting to look inward and confront the hurtful stuff in there.  Nor to look around and see the people you’ve hurt, and the hurt you carry.  We resist stripping off the old wallpaper.  We’d rather just repaint, than truly repent.

 

But if you strip off the stuff covering up your life, something good happens.  If you look deep enough, even deeper than all the superficialities of your life, you discover your spirit, or some might say, your soul.  It’s beyond “good” or “bad;” it’s more fundamental than what you’ve done, it is simply who you are.  It’s the part God loves. When you discover the imperfections that the wallpaper was hiding, you find that they’re not flaws, they’re wounds.  You can begin to appreciate yourself.”

 

Jesus came away from his experience, convinced of God’s love and God’s favor.  To repent is to return, in deep humility, to our maker and to claim our place as God’s creation. 

 

Steve, in describing his wallpaper stripping experience tells it this way: “we stripped the wallpaper off—first the outer layer, and then the backing, soaking it with a solution and scraping it off.    As I scraped the wall above the stove something began to emerge: a picture of a fruit basket!  It was lovely and intact and unharmed, hiding there beneath the wallpaper for sixty years.  Eventually we uncovered two of them.

 

He said, “Believe it or not, when everything else is stripped away, the end of our confession is not guilt but loveliness.  What we discover is the truth that led us to the wilderness in the first place, the first and last and deepest truth about us, proclaimed from the beginning: ‘You are my child, my Beloved; with you I am well pleased.’

 

To repent is to strip away everything until we find within us a basket of fruit, beautiful, ripe and waiting.  The soul, covered with the envelope of our lives, is still there. To repent is to return to our belovedness. 

 

It is my hope that lent will be a meaningful time for you to uncover some things in your life, so you might discover, once again, your deep connection to God.  Amen.

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Benediction:  May the blessing of God go before you, may God’s grace and peace abound.  May the Spirit live within you, may its love wrap you round. May God’s blessing remain with you always.  May you walk on holy ground.  Amen.

 

 

 



[i] Joyce Rupp, Out of the Ordinary, Ave Maria Press: 2000, p. 114.